flamingprick | day 8 - Rin's breakdown

[Yeah, that talk with Erika didn't go so well. Like, at all. And there are some signs of that too.

The first sign: Several punch marks in the walls of the main floor. He didn't manage to punch through the walls, since power nerfing, but there are definite marks there. And, as it goes on, blood marks too.

The second sign: Rin is in the infirmary, attempting to wrap his knuckles since they're bleeding. But he's still angry-crying so he's not doing a good job of it. There's also a ton of q-tips on the ground because he kicked over the container at some point.

He could probably use a friend right now.]

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From:

suppressthedark

[And a friend he shall get. Ichigo notices the punch marks - how could he not - and the blood, growing more concerned as he followed them. Who was the person who punched the walls this hard? He'd punched them pretty hard himself, and not even made a mark...

When he makes his way to the infirmary, it all makes sense. Quickly, he raps on a nearby table to alert Rin to his presence before he walks up, taking Rin's bleeding hand in one of his own and the bandage in the other.]

...Hey.

[It's said softly, with no judgement or scorn in it. If anything, there's just worry.]

From:

flamingprick

[Rin jumps a little at the table-knocking, and that draws his attention up to Ichigo. His eyes are red, like he's been crying for a while now, and there's actually little indentations on his lip like he's been biting down on it. No blood yet, just marks.

As soon as Ichigo picks up Rin hand, Rin glances away, sniffing to keep his nose from running. When he speaks, his voice sounds cracked and broken.]

I ain't a monster.

From:

suppressthedark

Who said you were?

[Gently, he patches up Rin's hand - although his eyes burn with anger at the thought of Rin being like this because someone there dared to say that he was something horrible. He knows himself that while Rin's a hot head, there was no way that the other was anywhere near the level of the monsters he'd faced back home, or even on the level of some of the people he'd faced.]

From:

flamingprick

[Truthfully, Erika didn't call him a monster. No, she just said that he was planning to kill people and that he was trying to vote out people he wanted dead. Which are monstrous things in his eyes, so it was pretty much like calling him a monster.]

I just- I'm not, alright? I'm-

[He lets out a shuddering breath, an attempt to calm himself a little, trying to keep his hands steady for Ichigo, before speaking again.]

Demons aren't always bad, you know? Most of 'em just wanna live. I don't- I don't wanna kill anyone here. Or anywhere. I just wanna live.

From:

suppressthedark

I know.

[Truthfully, he doesn't. But as he finishes up, he figures it's what Rin needs to hear right now, and he knows that Rin isn't a bad person just from being around him and talking to him. A little dense, sure - and impulsive, but who wasn't? Especially in a situation like this.]

You're not someone who'd kill just because the Raccoons gave you a reason to.

From:

flamingprick

[He really wouldn't, not when he has his mind and all. Rin's a lot of things- 'a hot mess' being the truth most of the time- but a killer isn't one of them.

Rin lets out a hollow laugh, one that is clearly not out of amusement at all, but more to release the tension in his shoulders.]

They cut my foot off once, did you know that? To 'control me', so that I couldn't run off during a trial. It grew back, but- shit, that hurt so bad.

[Yeah, he's talking about stuff before this shitty school now.]

From:

suppressthedark

They what?!

[He figures that Rin's talking about his home world, but - good god. Even if he can regenerate, something like that had to be agonizingly painful, and just so that he couldn't run off?]

Couldn't they have just used chains or something?!

From:

flamingprick

He could've, but that asshole doesn't like demons and probably liked hurting me like that.

[Yeah, Angel is not a very nice guy.]

Y'know the worst part? Nothing happened to him, because he's my boss. He's one of the good guys, and they'd never even tell him he's wrong.

[With friends like that who needs enemies, mirite?]

Everyone thinks I'm gonna turn on 'em someday and start killing people, and they're always suspicious of me! I thought it'd be different here, nobody knows about any of that stuff here, but...

Edited Date: 2017-12-27 02:41 am (UTC)

From:

suppressthedark

[Ah, that...

It causes his jaw to clench, because he understands. Soul Society didn't treat him like that (well, mostly, beyond monitoring him through his badge), but his teachers at his high school treated him like he was a thug, someone who they were just waiting to slip up so they could nail him to the wall.

No one's ever considered him a killer, but he knows what it's like to be judged by appearances, and he grabs onto Rin's shoulders tightly.]

Rin.

[His voice is firm, and his gaze doesn't waver from the half-demon's face.]

You know that you're not a monster, despite what everyone thinks of you. And I know that you're not one - you're the farthest thing from it. I've only known you for a week, but I know that you're not a killer.

Whoever acted like you were? Don't listen to them. You're better than whatever they think you are, and listening to them only gives them power over you.

From:

flamingprick

[For a moment there, Rin's spirit lightens. It feels like a weight has been taken off of his shoulders, all become someone here believes in him. Someone trusts him when he says he doesn't want to kill anyone.

A moment later, he lets out a huff of air. When he speaks his voice isn't as heavy as it was before, but that self-depreciating tone is there, even if it's laced with humor now.]

Well I did try to punch her in the face after that.

From:

suppressthedark

[He relaxes a little as Rin seems to lighten up, glad that his words could help someone in this place, especially his friend.

But then Rin mentions 'her', and he pauses, blinking - before giving a loud groan. There's only one person who would be so shameless about exploiting someone's insecurities about themself.]

...It was Erika, right?

From:

flamingprick

[The fact that Rin doesn't outright deny it is a pretty good sign that yes, that's who it is.

And now that's he's calmed down some, the sadness is being replaces with irritation.]

I still wanna punch her, but it's against the rules and I'm sure those raccoons would do something stupid to me for it.

From:

suppressthedark

Someone did just die for messing with the Raccoons. They might decide to kill you if you did punch her.

[ISN'T THAT JUST A FUN THOUGHT, RIN?? BOY HOWDY

Though, he absolutely understands why Rin wanted to punch Erika. He's felt like doing it himself, at times.]

I swear she's going to get herself killed one of these days if she isn't more careful with people.

From:

flamingprick

Yeah, she is.

[And then he remembers the argument again.]

She asked me who I voted for, and I wouldn't tell her because she was being a dick about it. So she accused me of voting for her to try and kill her off. She said that I was 'hiding something' and that it made me dangerous.

And you know, for a moment there, I thought about it. Not about killing her, but like...if she got voted, I wouldn't have minded. That kinda thing. Pretty horrible, huh?

From:

suppressthedark

...It's not horrible at all.

[Truth be told, he figured - as awful as it was to think - that Erika would die sooner, rather than later. She was too arrogant, too quick to step on other's hearts, to use her beloved truth like a weapon, regardless of consequences - and he just shakes his head.]

I've said it before, but she's going to put herself in an early grave because she refuses to recognize that she's talking to people, not victims and suspects. I mean, if it wasn't for that rule, she would have gotten punched a long time ago.

From:

flamingprick

Yeah.

...it's probably better I didn't punch her.

[He's thinking now, but the thoughts actually bring out a little smile.]

Dad would be happy at least, because I finally stopped myself before punching someone. Even if I punched a wall instead.

From:

suppressthedark

Better the wall than a person, right?

[He smiles back, softly.]

Not like I'm not familiar with punching people too, though.

From:

flamingprick

What? Don't tell me you had anger issues as a kid too.

From:

suppressthedark

Not anger issues, but I couldn't just sit by when someone was getting bullied - and it didn't make me any friends.

From:

flamingprick

Ha...yeah, I get that. Whenever someone bullied Yukio I'd beat 'em up. It didn't make me too popular though.

From:

suppressthedark

When does it ever?

[A snort.]

I got the faculty on my case for fighting with punks, even though they didn't care that those punks had picked the fight with me first. It's just easier to assume that I die my hair instead of it being natural, right?