[Rin's breath hitches at that last bit- almost a sob, but not quite. He manages to get it under control before it becomes more than an intake of breath.
He doesn't want to die, but he doesn't want to kill anyone else either.]
That's- that's what I mean. Nobody here has experience with demon crap, and a shinigami is probably the closest thing to an exorcist here.
[Okay, now his shoulders are shaking a little, and his head is tilted down so that his face is partially obscured. He reaches up to place a hand on Ichigo's arm, holding onto him tightly.]
It's all sealed away, and I can only get to some of my powers through that seal. I was practicing with them, trying to learn how to control it, so maybe I can use all of my demon stuff without losing control. And I've been able to slowly get at more and more of it, but it's still too easy to lose control and become that.
There's ways to stop it without killing me, but you'd need a trained exorcist to do it, and I can't do it if I've lost myself. So you...I...
[He finally looks up at Ichigo, and tears are starting to spill down his face.]
Please! Please don't let me hurt anyone. If it happens, stop me before anything bad happens. I-I'm a fire demon, so water should-
[Okay talking is too hard now. Rin is absolutely terrified of this happening, and it's affecting his ability to speak. So instead he's just sobbing quietly as he holds onto Ichigo's arm for dear life.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-01-07 05:49 am (UTC)He doesn't want to die, but he doesn't want to kill anyone else either.]
That's- that's what I mean. Nobody here has experience with demon crap, and a shinigami is probably the closest thing to an exorcist here.
[Okay, now his shoulders are shaking a little, and his head is tilted down so that his face is partially obscured. He reaches up to place a hand on Ichigo's arm, holding onto him tightly.]
It's all sealed away, and I can only get to some of my powers through that seal. I was practicing with them, trying to learn how to control it, so maybe I can use all of my demon stuff without losing control. And I've been able to slowly get at more and more of it, but it's still too easy to lose control and become that.
There's ways to stop it without killing me, but you'd need a trained exorcist to do it, and I can't do it if I've lost myself. So you...I...
[He finally looks up at Ichigo, and tears are starting to spill down his face.]
Please! Please don't let me hurt anyone. If it happens, stop me before anything bad happens. I-I'm a fire demon, so water should-
[Okay talking is too hard now. Rin is absolutely terrified of this happening, and it's affecting his ability to speak. So instead he's just sobbing quietly as he holds onto Ichigo's arm for dear life.]