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flamingprick[So somebody went looking around in Dazai's room to see if he left a note or something, and he found a book instead! Which he is going to promptly take with him as he goes off to find Akira and Ichigo. Because this feels like something important he should share with them.
And also he can't fucking read this shit either. Someone's going to have to read it out loud to him.
And hopefully he doesn't come across a certain shounen idiot who isn't supposed to be climbing four flights of stairs right now, because that would be a problem. HMMMM.]
And also he can't fucking read this shit either. Someone's going to have to read it out loud to him.
And hopefully he doesn't come across a certain shounen idiot who isn't supposed to be climbing four flights of stairs right now, because that would be a problem. HMMMM.]
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Date: 2018-01-13 05:42 am (UTC)[he's keeping his voice soft, but firm. exhaustion weighs heavily on his shoulders, even as he tries to keep himself upright and strong. when Ichigo moves, so does he, although he continues to lean against his shoulder. just to let him know that he's still there]
He made a pact with someone and had them do it for him.
[. . . the pieces are clicking together]
And then that person took their own life afterwards.
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Date: 2018-01-13 05:51 am (UTC)[Not that it changes the outcome any, but.]
And- and maybe he didn't get a chance to tell the person not to do it! Even if he meant to die at first, that doesn't mean he meant to die later!
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Date: 2018-01-13 05:55 am (UTC)What does he find in it?]
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Date: 2018-01-13 06:05 am (UTC)[his eyes slip shut, hand clenching into a fist at Ichigo's side]
Rin, I know it hurts, and I know it sucks, and I know it's stupid-- and I know Dazai is stupid, because even now I bet he wouldn't be able to understand why the hell we're all so upset with him.
But we need to consider that a possibility.
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Date: 2018-01-13 06:36 am (UTC)[He's. Not going to admit Akira has a point, because he's mad and emotional and really bad about admitting he's wrong when he's mad and emotional.]
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Date: 2018-01-13 06:49 am (UTC)[oh no now Akira's getting mad. it isn't Rin's fault, honestly. he's tired and frustrated and upset and it's getting awfully hard to keep himself in check]
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Date: 2018-01-13 06:59 am (UTC)Not on purpose, no! I'm gonna fight it as long as I can! But even I can't-
[...no, he probably shouldn't talk about that right now. He's upset enough as it is, he doesn't need to think about the threat the raccoons issued to him.]
I know this might be hard for you to believe, but I'm not stupid. We still got three more 'killing nights' to survive, and they've already told us what's gonna happen if nobody kills.
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Date: 2018-01-13 07:03 am (UTC)[Ichigo's yell nearly rattles the walls, as he clutches Dazai's book to his chest.
He's read it all. He's come to understand, in that small, horrible way, Dazai's heart - even if the way he learned is also small and insignificant, what with this book not being entirely about him -
- even trying to minimize his importance, even after death.
He knows. He knows now, and he feels like Akira is right - so he instantly stands, slipping out of Akira's arm and standing before either of them can stop him, moving out of the infirmary at a rate that doesn't seem possible from a severely injured man.
They have to know. Everyone has to know, and then...
...And then he can sleep.]
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Date: 2018-01-13 07:09 am (UTC)Ichi--
[and then he's shooting a worried look towards Rin, before he scrambles to his own feet and hobbles after him]
Ichigo, wait!
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Date: 2018-01-13 07:12 am (UTC)Rin really wants to just let them go and do his own thing for a while, but he knows he'll end up regretting it later if either of them fall down and get hurt. So he'll follow behind them, just to make sure they get to wherever they're going without hurting themselves.]
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Date: 2018-01-13 06:24 am (UTC)the story really doesn't get better from there, but it does thankfully switch out of the child's perspective into various others throughout his life in the mafia.
one such perspective is of a fourteen year old who runs into the recently-promoted to Executive "Tsushima" (top panel), surrounded by the bodies of the killers of his friends he had been chasing. he ends up falling to his knees and crying out in utter relief of having a reason to live thanks to the mafioso's offer to take him on. "Tsushima" is sixteen years old and makes the kid's life a living hell in order to "survive in the mafia".
it goes on from the perspective from who appears to be a friend of "Tsushima"'s who--very unfortunately--turns out to be the friend who died in the end. spoilers: it was really sad. "Tsushima" is eighteen years old.
but then, the POV switches back, briefly, to "Tsushima"'s... it is a few months later, and he's speaking with a Government official about getting a job outside of the mafia. he rejects the offer to go to a government job--"My personality isn't suited to too many rules and regulations."
once again, the POV switches back--it's that straight-laced personality that Dazai mimicked back when he read a scene from the book to Akira and Ichigo. he doesn't like his new partner. he's a drunkard, gets high on random mushrooms, and is a general nuisance and louse who couldn't even pass the entrance exam and instead allowed one person to murder another. to be fair, there was a murder-grudge involved, and a lot of other good things he did. "Tsushima" is twenty years old...
when the perspective changes again, the story is from a young boy who was treated horricially by his orphanage and was lied to about his special ability of being a weretiger... he was ready to starve and-or kill himself... but a man was floating down a river...
"Tsushima" is twenty-two years old and the narrator would like everyone to know that they know "Tsushima"
is a good person...]