I can be with him for at least one of the 'killing nights', we haven't been paired up yet. And we can take turns watching him during the day. But what about the other night? He's already been with you, and I don't know who to trust with him that he hasn't been with yet.
I'm tired of it and I've only been dealing with it for two weeks. I can only imagine how you feel.
[there's sympathy in his words, a small hint of frustration. he lets out a noise, lifts a hand to scrub at his face, lifting up his glasses as he does so]
. . . why is everyone so damn willing to jump on the sharp end of the sword?
Despair, mostly. There's a reason why the really horrible shit is usually kept a secret from most people: they just can't handle it. I just thought Ichigo could, since he's a shinigami and all.
He'll probably regret it when he wakes up anyway. It was kinda spur of the moment for him, talking him out of it shouldn't be hard.
[...he should probably talk to Akira about the other thing, though. Because he can't trust Ichigo to stop him anymore.]
[Akira's is Ichigo's boyfriend, so if anyone can do something, it's him.]
I...I can't tell you everything, since it's against those 'talking about the motives' rules, but.
[He stops, and takes in a breath before speaking again.]
I'm probably not gonna make it out of this alive. There's- if there's no deaths on a killing night, and those raccoons make good on the threats they gave yesterday, then I'll be dead. There's always the chance that they won't do what they said they would, but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that.
I need you to look out for Ichigo for me, when I die. I know you'd do it anyway, but I just want you to be ready to do that.
But going by how he acted today, I think he might do something like that if it ever happens. And I definitely don't want that to happen. I'm not giving up and just dying here, but if things go badly then I want at least you two to live.
[pauses. takes a breath, and then tilts his chin up and nods]
I'll look after him, though. I'll make sure he survives. And I'll make sure I survive right alongside him.
[and ideally? he'd like Rin to survive, too. but he's pretty satisfied with "I'm not giving up and just dying here" as a confirmation that Rin doesn't intend to just let it happen]
-but I'm gonna die as 'me'. I won't just lay down and accept it, I'm gonna fight it every step of the way.
[He just. He knows the risks. He's lived through it before, and he saw the horrified faces of his friends when he came out of it. Luckily nobody died that time, but.]
And yeah, you better make it too. You're probably the most stable out of the three of us right now, he's really gonna need you. So you better not have some big secret thing you're hiding that'll effect you and him surviving, because I'm kinda done with secrets at this point.
[he can't help but smile at Rin's words, at the fire and determination he hears in them. Rin really is cool. . . hardheaded and a bit brash, but good-hearted and strong. it's admirable]
That's the spirit. If you've got to go down, go down swinging.
[and at that second part, Akira just laughs, a bit tired and breathless]
When it comes to secrets, Ichigo knows every damn one of mine. And the last thing I'd ever do. . . is compromise his safety.
[and Akira's own. because he's already seen exactly how Ichigo handles that]
Exactly! It's gonna take more than a couple of dumb raccoons to take down me! I still gotta kick Satan's ass, after all.
[...oh wait. Akira has a Satan with him too.]
I mean, the shithole Satan from my world, not yours.
[And HAHA SECRETS...]
Did Ichigo tell you all the shit I told him already? Because I guess you should know that stuff too, if we're gonna be a trio of 'get out of this shithole alive' and all.
Yeah, pretty much. I gotta keep it a secret for the most part though. Half-demons, those aren't too uncommon where I'm from. But being Satan's son is a big deal, and a lot of people have issues with it. The 'we should probably kill him' kinda issues.
Dad adopted me and Yukio- my twin brother- when we were babies. Mom...I dunno what happened to her, but she's dead now. I never knew her. So it was just me, Yukio, and Dad.
Then Satan possessed Dad and tried to drag me to Hell using his body, so Dad killed himself before it could happen.
[YEAH. That's why he has issues with suicide tbh]
That's why I gotta beat him. I owe it to Dad. He died for my sake, you know? If I die here, I'll never be able to make it up to him.
[holy shit, that's. jesus. Akira thought Rin had good reasons for hating Satan before, but now he understands that on a much deeper level. his good hand tightens into a fist]
. . . you really do.
[mmm. his gaze narrows, and he nods again, firm and determined. he's decided; he, Rin and Ichigo will absolutely make it out of here alive. they have to]
It's no wonder that you're willing to fight so hard to stay alive. And no wonder that you're so insistent on-- if you have to die-- dying as yourself.
Yeah. It's pretty terrible, you know? I've lost control before. I don't really remember what happened then, but when I came back, and I saw everyone's faces...
[How horrified they were. How all of his friends saw him for what he truly was.
...no, not what he 'truly was'. The demon in him is a part of him, but that is not all of who he is.]
...I don't want that to happen again. I'm not a monster, and I don't want to become one.
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We do.
He's going to get himself killed at this rate.
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I can be with him for at least one of the 'killing nights', we haven't been paired up yet. And we can take turns watching him during the day. But what about the other night? He's already been with you, and I don't know who to trust with him that he hasn't been with yet.
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[another noise of affirmation echoes in Akira's throat]
Seto. I think, beyond Ichigo and you and. . . Akechi, I'd trust him the most.
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I don't think he's going to like us watching him, though.
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[stubbornness is a trait they all share, it seems]
He needs. . . [falls quiet, exhaling deeply] He needs a reminder that there are still people alive who need him.
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[He runs a shaky hand through his hair, trying to move it out of his face, but it's too long to really do that without a clip.]
I've had to deal with this 'off myself' stuff too damn much in the last year, you know? I'm tired of it all.
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[there's sympathy in his words, a small hint of frustration. he lets out a noise, lifts a hand to scrub at his face, lifting up his glasses as he does so]
. . . why is everyone so damn willing to jump on the sharp end of the sword?
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He'll probably regret it when he wakes up anyway. It was kinda spur of the moment for him, talking him out of it shouldn't be hard.
[...he should probably talk to Akira about the other thing, though. Because he can't trust Ichigo to stop him anymore.]
...oi. Can I trust you with something?
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[a breath, and for a moment, he lapses into thoughtful silence. until Rin asks his question, that is]
Ah-- of course. What is it?
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[Akira's is Ichigo's boyfriend, so if anyone can do something, it's him.]
I...I can't tell you everything, since it's against those 'talking about the motives' rules, but.
[He stops, and takes in a breath before speaking again.]
I'm probably not gonna make it out of this alive. There's- if there's no deaths on a killing night, and those raccoons make good on the threats they gave yesterday, then I'll be dead. There's always the chance that they won't do what they said they would, but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that.
I need you to look out for Ichigo for me, when I die. I know you'd do it anyway, but I just want you to be ready to do that.
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[what]
[for a moment, Akira is just. stunned. before some past conversations click in his brain and he speaks up]
Is this. . . related to the demon thing?
[yeah hi guess what Ichigo is bad at secrets]
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Lemme guess: Ichigo told you about that?
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[ha. . .]
. . . kidding, by the way.
He told me so I'd be prepared if the day ever came. So I could vote accordingly.
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But going by how he acted today, I think he might do something like that if it ever happens. And I definitely don't want that to happen. I'm not giving up and just dying here, but if things go badly then I want at least you two to live.
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[pauses. takes a breath, and then tilts his chin up and nods]
I'll look after him, though. I'll make sure he survives. And I'll make sure I survive right alongside him.
[and ideally? he'd like Rin to survive, too. but he's pretty satisfied with "I'm not giving up and just dying here" as a confirmation that Rin doesn't intend to just let it happen]
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[To Dazai, actually.]
-but I'm gonna die as 'me'. I won't just lay down and accept it, I'm gonna fight it every step of the way.
[He just. He knows the risks. He's lived through it before, and he saw the horrified faces of his friends when he came out of it. Luckily nobody died that time, but.]
And yeah, you better make it too. You're probably the most stable out of the three of us right now, he's really gonna need you. So you better not have some big secret thing you're hiding that'll effect you and him surviving, because I'm kinda done with secrets at this point.
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That's the spirit. If you've got to go down, go down swinging.
[and at that second part, Akira just laughs, a bit tired and breathless]
When it comes to secrets, Ichigo knows every damn one of mine. And the last thing I'd ever do. . . is compromise his safety.
[and Akira's own. because he's already seen exactly how Ichigo handles that]
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[...oh wait. Akira has a Satan with him too.]
I mean, the shithole Satan from my world, not yours.
[And HAHA SECRETS...]
Did Ichigo tell you all the shit I told him already? Because I guess you should know that stuff too, if we're gonna be a trio of 'get out of this shithole alive' and all.
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You're damn right you have to.
[heh]
And-- no, he didn't. Just the part where Satan is your. . . [flaps. hands. biological dad?] Well, that you're half demon.
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Yeah, pretty much. I gotta keep it a secret for the most part though. Half-demons, those aren't too uncommon where I'm from. But being Satan's son is a big deal, and a lot of people have issues with it. The 'we should probably kill him' kinda issues.
Dad adopted me and Yukio- my twin brother- when we were babies. Mom...I dunno what happened to her, but she's dead now. I never knew her. So it was just me, Yukio, and Dad.
Then Satan possessed Dad and tried to drag me to Hell using his body, so Dad killed himself before it could happen.
[YEAH. That's why he has issues with suicide tbh]
That's why I gotta beat him. I owe it to Dad. He died for my sake, you know? If I die here, I'll never be able to make it up to him.
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. . . you really do.
[mmm. his gaze narrows, and he nods again, firm and determined. he's decided; he, Rin and Ichigo will absolutely make it out of here alive. they have to]
It's no wonder that you're willing to fight so hard to stay alive. And no wonder that you're so insistent on-- if you have to die-- dying as yourself.
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[How horrified they were. How all of his friends saw him for what he truly was.
...no, not what he 'truly was'. The demon in him is a part of him, but that is not all of who he is.]
...I don't want that to happen again. I'm not a monster, and I don't want to become one.
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[he says that with full belief in his words. he knows that they're true]
1/2
2/2
Oh yeah! I got some stuff to tie Ichigo down with, so if he tries to do stupid stuff again we can just tie him to the bed.
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